How to Stuff your Parrot on Thanksgiving

Ingredients:
1 Turkey
Stuffing
Sweet Potatoes
Mashed Potatoes with Gravy
Green Beans
Cranberry Sauce
Hot rolls and Butter
Relish tray
Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream
Hot Coffee

Get up early in the morning & have a cup of coffee.
It’s going to be a long day, so place your Parrot on a
perch nearby to keep you company while you prepare the
meal.

Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
perch. Prepare stuffing, and remove Parrot from edge
of stuffing bowl and return him to perch.

Stuff turkey & place it in the roasting pan, and
remove Parrot from edge of pan and return him to
perch. Have another cup of coffee to steady your
nerves.

Remove Parrot’s head from turkey cavity and return him
to perch, and re-stuff the turkey.

Prepare relish tray, and remember to make twice as
much so that you’ll have a regular size serving after
the Parrot has eaten his fill.

Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
perch. Prepare cranberry sauce, discard berries
accidentally flung to the floor by Parrot. Peel
potatoes, remove Parrot from edge of potato bowl and
return him to perch.

Arrange sweet potatoes in a pan & cover with brown
sugar & mini marshmallows. Remove Parrot from edge of
pan and return him to perch. Replace missing
marshmallows.

Brew another pot of coffee. While it is brewing, clean
up the torn filter. Pry coffee bean from Parrot beak.
Have another cup of coffee & remove Parrot from
kitchen counter and return him to perch

When time to serve the meal: Place roasted turkey on a
large platter, and cover beak marks with strategically
placed sprigs of parsley.

Put mashed potatoes into serving bowl, rewhip at last
minute to conceal beak marks and claw prints. Place
pan of sweet potatoes on sideboard, forget
presentation as there’s no way to hide the areas of
missing marshmallows.

Put rolls in decorative basket, remove Parrot from
side of basket and return him to perch. Also remove
beaked rolls, serve what’s left. Set a stick of butter
out on the counter to soften – think better and return
it to the refrigerator.

Wipe down counter to remove mashed potato claw tracks.
Remove Parrot from kitchen counter and return him to
perch.

Cut the pie into serving slices. Wipe whipped cream
off Parrot’s beak and place large dollops of remaining
whipped cream on pie slices. Whole slices are then
served to guests, beaked-out portions should be
reserved for host & hostess.

Place Parrot inside cage & lock the door. Sit down to
a nice relaxing dinner with your family – accompanied
by plaintive cries of “WANT DINNER!” from the other
room.