A man found himself walking along a road with his parrot on his shoulder. He remembered dying and knew that his parrot was dead too. Soon he came to a golden gate. He saw a man at a desk and asked, “Excuse me, where are we?”
“This is heaven, sir,” the man answered. “Come right in.”
“Can my bird come in, too?” the traveler asked.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”
The man shook his head, and continued on his way. After awhile he came to a rickety farm gate. He saw a man nearby, leaning against a tree. “Excuse me!” he called, “Do you have any water?”
“Yeah, sure, there’s a pump over there.” The man pointed. “Come on in.”
“How about my parrot?”
“No problem, there should be a T-stand with a water dish by the pump.”
He asked, “What do you call this place?”
“This is heaven,” was the answer.
“That’s odd, the man down the road said that was heaven, too.”
“The place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That’s hell.”
“Why do you let them use your name like that?”
“They screen out the folks who would leave their birds behind.”